my summer so far...

I enjoy the summer. I know I'll probably complain in September when it's still 100 degrees, but for now, I still like it. I like the feeling of getting into a super hot car, and then blasting the air conditioner. And I typically don't mind being outside. It's like I was made for summers in Texas. :) Last weekend, I threw an outdoor party for Husby. This December, he'll be 40. (Yes, he did rob the cradle. I officially have a sugar daddy, although I have to work. Something about a new car and new house.) I wanted to give him a birthday fiesta, but with holiday parties and cold weather, I didn't want to do it in December. So we did a 39 1/2 birthday party. It was so much fun! I'll post pictures  soon.

Speaking of cars. I'm sad to report that Genevieve (my 5 month old Kia Sportage) has already been to the body shop. A few weeks ago, Husby and I traded cars for the day. On his way home from work, it was drizzling; he was stopped at a light and was rear-ended. $5000 in damage and 10 days later (paid for by their insurance company, thankfully), Genevieve is back home. The upside is they vacuumed the inside really well and washed her. She looks brand new. Again.

Our new house is in a more rural area. I like to call it the country, even though we're in a neighborhood. The country seems to come with wildlife that I didn't see much in the city. Yesterday, I put Crickett and Persephone outside. Before I could shut the door, I heard something land behind me. Evidently a lizard mistook the inside of our house for where he should be. I panicked. I'm not particularly afraid of lizards, but I couldn't figure out my method of getting him outside. I didn't want to kill him, since he kills more bugs than the dog and cat combined. (The cat likes to WATCH bugs crawl across the floor.) I couldn't pick him up quickly and throw him out the back; I had a cat and dog who would have loved a little snack. My only option was going out the front,  but I couldn't determine how I would pick him up, carry him, unlock and open the door, and then deposit him accordingly. And I didn't want him making an escape. Again, the cat and dog would have fought over who got him.

In my decision, the little lizard decided to climb the fireplace. I stood guard, watching him while I called Husby. Thankfully, he was less than ten minutes away. I stayed on the phone with him the whole time repeating things like:

"Please don't fall. Please don't fall. Please don't fall."
"Oh, my goodness."
"If he jumps at me..."
"Where are you?"
"Where are you now?"
"He's on the CEILING..."
"Come in through the front door as soon as you get here!"

And my knight in khaki pants and a Polo shirt came to my rescue. Only after the lizard jumped at me after an attempted capture. Which caused me to scream, then the lizard ran like a little thing you'd see in the desert, afraid for his life. Then I screamed and shook a plastic grocery bag, chasing him down the hall, hoping he wouldn't climb into the pile of empty boxes and paper. Husby was laughing the whole time, trying to catch him, but supposedly distracted by my screaming.

Once captured, we both ran outside to deposit him next to our bathroom window. (We have a family of geckos that climbs on the outside of the window at night, so we thought it was appropriate.) It being the country, I went barefoot. This is where I mention that we've been plagued by nasty brown spiders (no brown recluse, thankfully). As we were walking back inside, I saw one in the grass and told Husby to step on it. He did. Then we saw another and another and another. ALL CRAWLING TOWARD OUR HOUSE. Confident they were coming for me and my bare feet, I ran.

Next week the exterminator will be here. And summer will be even better.

Glorious

I often have fun stories after a trip to WalMart. Things just happen to me. I recently decided that I would become a WalMart shopper. I wanted to save a little cash. However, a couple of weeks later, I realized my ways and swore off WalMart once again. Mainly because of the consumerism aspect of WM and how badly they treat their employees. I've returned to the land of Target (perhaps not much better with consumerism, but they do treat employees well) and our locally owned grocery store. Even though I visit two stores for my weekly shopping, I don't have as much stress when I'm done. Mainly because the buggies don't sound like a snare drum with marbles inside being shaken.

But today, I have a great story from our grocery store. It was rather desolate because a NEW and IMPROVED store by the same company opened today. I had a cashier and bag boy immediately. As I walked out of the store, in front of my bag boy wearing a trapper hat in 68 degree weather, this was our convo:

Him (VERY excited): Have you seen Burlesque?!
Me: No, no I haven't.
Him: YOU HAVE TO SEE BURLESQUE! IT'S SO GOOD!
Me: Oh, okay, I'll put it on my list of movies to wa---
Him: Some people say it's a chick flick, but I don't think so. IT'S JUST GOOD!
Me (smiling): Well, okay. I'll have to see i---
Him: It has Cher! CHER!
Me (smiling bigger): She is talented, isn't she?
Him: CHER IS SO TALENTED! YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT! BURLESQUE IS SO GOOD!
Me: Thank you for the recommendation.

I love moments like these. Sometimes I think that there's a video camera catching my reaction when these things happen to me. And in real life, I'm a great story teller, so trust that this was absolutely hilarious!

Miscellany

For some reason, I'm often the lone witness to glorious happenings. Like the time in WalMart that I returned a lamp because the knob was broken, and the clerk did the return successfully, but when it came time to record the problem, she wrote: Broken Pfknobe. I guess if the K is silent, then the P, H and E are, too. I felt sure that my response was being recorded on Candid Camera. (Assuming that show still exists.)

Then one day I was in the laundromat cleaning my feather bed in an industrial washer and dryer. When I threw it in the dryer, I tossed in some tennis balls. A lady questioned me, and I explained that throwing in tennis balls or tennis shoes help redistribute the feathers. To which she replies, "Hmm...must be the tena!" Again, I looked for the hidden cameras, trying desperately not to crack.

Fast forward to today. I was able to leave early for Christmas break. I decided to stop by Tuesday Morning because sometimes you can find a good deal. Not that I ever have, but I hear that deals are to be found. As I walked in, a customer was disputing a price with a clerk. Once the customer left, the clerks decided to call another store for confirmation of the discount. The conversation is, as follows:

Clerk A: Why don't you call the store in Paris? I bet they can tell us.

Clerk B: Okay. [Retrieves directory.] Do you spell Paris with a P?

Clerk A: [Sweetly replies.] Yes.

Me: [Thinking to self.] Where in the WORLD are the hidden cameras? And why can't I have a friend with me to hear this? And what other letter sounds like P? [Run through alphabet in my head and discover that no other letter sounds like the phonetic sound P.] [Smiles and attempts not to laugh.]

I'm telling you, I'm the witness to greatness. Aren't you jealous?

************************************************************

If you don't watch The Big Bang Theory, then you are missing out on one of the funniest shows ever. This weeks episode made me scream-laugh harder than any other episode of any other show this year. This YEAR! I just don't know if there's a funnier show on, and I'm all about funny shows. Modern Family, Cougar Town, and How I Met Your Mother are all on our DVR. But this...this is hilarious. (And I'm pretty sure you can watch it on the CBS website.)

(Don't tell my husband that I recommended that. He works for the cable company. They want your money.)

(Actually, scratch that. I want your money, too. Buy the cable so that he might get a raise.)

(Thank you.)

Here's a picture from this week's episode. Even if you don't like superhero's, you'll think it's funny. And if you're have even a smidgen of nerdiness in you, you'll think it's funnier than funny!

(And for those of you who hate the words Big Bang Theory and/or evolution...it's just the name of the show. No need to be offended. You'll still think it's a funny show.)

(If you don't, it's a money back guarantee. Or a box of Milk Duds. [A reference to this episode.])

(From me. Not the cable company. Husby nor the cable company is liable.)

That is all. Have a good weekend!

Wide Wide World of Web

Because it's Wednesday.

And I can't really function well because all I can think about is Christmas break.

And I still have 8 days to go. (Actually, I think it's 7.5, but since I have to wake up on at dark on these days, I'm counting all 8 days.)

I've decided to share a few links.

Enjoy.

1. This video is hilarious. Who knew that ducklings would do this in the wind?!

2. One of my students wore some oh-so-cute earrings yesterday. I hadn't seen anything like them. She shared with me the gloriousness of What's In Store, a cute boutique in Franklin, Tennessee. Since I live about ten hours away, it's a good thing they have an online store. Visit What's In Store here.

3. My BFF-west-of-DFW, Patti, hounded me for WEEKS to listen to Mark Driscoll's Peasant Princess sermon series. I finally caved and downloaded four podcasts for my trip last week. Oh. My. Word. They are so good. I've heard approximately 128 sermons on Song of Songs, but this is so different. I can't wait to listen to more in this series, and I can't wait for Husby to hear these. I'm thinking of taking a road trip just so we can listen to them. Yeah. They're that good. You can find them here. Mars Hill has an iPhone app, so you can always pull up a sermon to listen. So nice!

4. And while you're at it, ladies, I highly recommend his Marriage and Women sermon; listen to it here. As I looked for that, I found others about women: Women and Femininity, Women as Homebuilders, Women as Wives. I think I know what I'm doing over Christmas break.

That's it for today. Be a blessing!

A Must See

Because it's Wednesday.

Because it's been the longest week ever.

Because I scream-laughed when I watched this.

And because I think you should, too.

Please watch "You Forgot Blueberries."

You're welcome.

That is all.

**A special thanks to Brooke for finding this video. :)

Choose Your Pose

Guess what today was?

How many of you guessed Picture Day?

Because that's what it was.

Mercy.

I've semi-stressed about this all week. I've not been happy with my yearbook picture in the faculty section that past two years. The main reason is that they always photograph me on my bad side. I prefer for my left side to be facing the camera. It's the best angle for me. My hair is parted to lay on the left side of my face. It's just right for me.

But this year...this year was "choose your pose." How exciting! I decided on Monday that I would figure out how to get my left side facing the camera. And then came the outfit. Although I'll wear black any day of the week and twice on Sundays, it doesn't photograph well. I tried that last year. I pulled one outfit out just to see if it would work. But it was a blue shirt. Which wouldn't contrast well with a blue background. Back to the drawing board. I finally had two outfits in mind, only to figure out yesterday that both outfits are in the dry cleaning bag that I keep forgetting to take to the dry cleaners. Dang it.

This morning, I was able to find just the outfit for picture day. Then I had to contemplate whether I should wear my hair curly or straight. Sometimes curly hair in a tiny yearbook photo looks a little big. Not that I'm opposed to big hair. I have teasing mechanisms and products galore for that. I'm just afraid of looking like my head is really big in comparison to everyone else. But then again, my hair kinks at 3% humidity, so straightening it is often a big ole waste of time. Oh, and my hairstylist used an Instyler--curling brush-straightener duo--on my hair this week when I got a little trim. IT WAS AWESOME. I really wanted to get one, but couldn't justify spending $100 on it just so I'd have it for pictures.

Anyway...I opted for curly hair. And it fell just a bit so a super big-headed picture wouldn't happen! My make-up looked nice, even though it was done in the car, since I was running late. (See: choosing an outfit for pictures, above.) And my outfit was just great.

I was timing it just right so that I wouldn't have to cut in line in front of the children. Actually, that's not true. I wanted no children there so that they'd show me my picture on their fancy-schmancy digital cameras and let me retake it, if desired.

But then?

I received an email just after lunch thanking all for a great picture day.

I MISSED PICTURE DAY.

BUT I WAS THERE.

I even had my pose ready to go.

Truths for Mature Humans

One of my BFF's sent me a facebook message today that made me laugh so hard! I realize this list will make its rounds on facebook in the next week, so you'll see a complete list soon, I'm sure. (And there's a 87% chance that this is just new to me!) I feel the need to share those which I find most true and funny.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

11. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

12. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

13. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

14. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

16. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

17. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

18. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

19. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists...unless I’m on one. Then I hate pedestrians and drivers.

20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

How many of these are true for you?!

It's GAlinda...with a GA

You might remember that in May, I reported that I'd read a total of two books in the entire year. Or you might not remember. Or you might hate reading and really not care (which makes me really sad for you). Any way about it, I'm now up to six books. That's right folks, now I only have 12 more to go to meet my total from last year. Woo hoo!

My selected reads often come from Oprah's Book Club. Honestly, I can't remember being disappointed by a selection from Oprah. If you're familiar with O's Book Club books, you know that they usually involve a death in the first chapter--sometimes more than one. But they're JUST SO GOOD. All that to say, I usually don't read funny or happy books. I like the emotion involved in reading. Then I had a friend recommend Kristin Chenowith's book (co-written by Joni Rodgers), A Little Bit Wicked, because it reminded her of me. Now I know why: this book is funny! Which sounds a little conceited, but sometimes I even make myself laugh. And we all know that's the sign of being funny. Or maybe that's the sign of being annoying?

Like always, I removed the book jacket before lugging it around in my car or purse, upstairs and back down, so that it doesn't get torn. When I removed it, I found pink. The entire book cover is pink! I'm not so much a pink person per se, but I've never had a completely pink book. And I like it.

If you're not familiar with Kristin Chenowith, perhaps her most notable claim to fame is her role as "Glinda" (or Galinda) in Wicked. She was also "Olive Snook" in Pushing Daisies, which was a fabulous TV show that wasn't renewed after it's second season. (Thanks stupid writers' strike.) I'd recommend the following to become familiar with Kristin Chenowith: buy the Wicked soundtrack and rent Pushing Daisies. She's just a fun girl!

Back to the book...I've laughed out loud so hard, and I'm only 50 pages in. I just read this passage, and it's so familiar to me. Husby and his family tend to mispronounce things. By a lot. So this made me laugh so hard, especially the last line. Here goes, a conversation between Kristin and her mother: 

 "We should have dinner at Mudfuckers," says Mom. "They have every kind of burger you could possibly want."

"I think you mean Fuddruckers, Mom."

"Yes, that's what I said."

"You said Mudfuckers."

"What? I would never say Mudfuckers. Jerry, I didn't say Mudfuckers, did I?"

Now, let me say here, my mom is an intelligent woman, so perhaps this is some kind of verbal dyslexia or just a matter of not sweating the small stuff, but in her personal lexicon, I play "Olive Shnook" on Pushing Up Daisies...Suzuki piano method is remembered as "Yamaha lessons." "Achy Breaky" becomes "Yucky Ducky," and Puerto Vallarta turns into "Porta Kolache."

Okay, I'm off to read a little more before bed. Hope you've had a great week so far!

Let's Look at Some Graphs

Husby loves http://www.graphjam.com/, and I have to admit, it is pretty funny. Because I had to work on a day that the rest of the free world (read: United States of America) was off, I feel a little lazy. And I just cleaned two bathrooms, and you know how tiring that can be! This is as good as a post gets today.

Umm...I Have the Wrong Number

**Updated to change the format of the phone number listed in this post. Evidently, smart phones will honor the telephone link. It need not be honored. :)

Have you ever had a phone call misdirected? You know, you call a number, but someone totally different answers? Well, it happens a couple of times a month in our office. Usually, it's not a big deal. It's often another parent who kindly laughs and thinks I (or my boss) have dialed the wrong number. But the thing is--it's most often the correct number.

I know this because when it happens, I give a laugh to the person on the other end of the line and apologize for the inconvenience. Then I hang up and press redial to see the number on the display; I disconnect before the call can go out (we have a delay on outgoing calls). The findings are conclusive, and I announce to my boss that I, in fact, had dialed the correct number. The second time it's dialed, it's directed to the intended recipient.

One time, my boss called a local restaurant for dinner reservations. Since it was the middle of the afternoon--and non-restaurant hours--she didn't think anything about it when the person who answered simply said, "Hello?" She proceeded to make the reservation, but was cut short when a parent of an alumni recognized her voice. They had a good chuckle. When she ended the call, she insisted that she had not dialed that number. She hadn't spoken with the parent on the phone since their child graduated.

I've never mentioned it to anyone else on campus. Until today. It turns out it's common to most lines on campus.

Which makes me feel a little better. Here goes...

As a college advisor, I'm the testing coordinator for our school, as well as the coordinator for students with disabilities. There are certain forms that should be completed each year for students to be eligible to have accommodations, like extended time on a test for a reading disability. I hadn't received the form at the usual time, so I decided to call the SAT hot line for counselors.

I quickly referred to the number on my desk. It was an easy number. Their customer service reps are always super-helpful and each call is answered by an automated message. Normally, I hear something like, "Hello, welcome to the SAT line for counselors. For testing info, press one." (You get the idea.)

Well, I dialed the number and an automated message started.

"Hello, you've reached 1888FREESEX."

Are you kidding me?! I (inadvertently) called a sex hot line AT WORK. And I work at a private, Christian school.

I quickly hung up and screamed at the same time. My co-worker wondered what on earth had happened. Of course, she had a good laugh at my expense. I have to agree that it WAS humorous.

I looked at the number I tried to call. I spelled out 1888FREESEX on the keypad. The two numbers are NOWHERE NEAR THE SAME. I pressed redial. Sure enough, I dialed the correct number. My call was just misdirected.

I knew that before I left for the day, I had to confess my phone call to others. I'd already played the scenario through my head where the business office receives the list of phone calls made that month. Although none others would be spelled out, I just knew that 1888FREESEX would be listed on calls made from my line.

Luckily, everyone had a good laugh. Including me.

A Very Random List

1. My friend in real life who just happens to blog (as opposed to a blog friend who is someone you "know" through the blogvine), Christine, commented on my last post and pointed out that I cook with a lot of recipes. As soon as I read her observation, I realized that I DO COOK with LOTS OF RECIPES. Sure, I have a few things that I've cooked enough times not to need a recipe (tortilla soup, chicken and dumplings). And, yes, I pride myself on not needing a recipe to create something--if I taste something I like, then I try to recreate it at home, and I'm often successful. But when it comes to meal-PLANNING, I rely on recipes. Even Husby has commented on my recipe-reliance. It just makes it easier to make sure we have everything needed to make meals during the week. Since I only grocery shop once a week (because I cannot handle anymore time in the store), I feel like I have to plan. But maybe I just need to change my method. Wow. I just bored myself. Moving along...

2. Men's dress shoes often require shoelaces--the round, waxy laces. If they break, these laces are pretty much non-existent. I had to visit three stores today to find a pair of brown shoe laces. Come on, people! If you have a men's shoe department or are a men's clothing store, please have these things available. If they're not available, then I have to wander through countless other stores at the mall, trying things on and buying things that may or may not be needed. And then Husby will wonder why I spent $72 on laces. Especially since the price tag on the back reads $3. Hopefully he won't notice that each little package of laces came in large shopping bags.

3. In the search for laces, I did have a glorious moment. The sales lady in Dillard's with the spiral perm pulled half-up with a banana clip, in her attempt to help me find the laces, suggested WalMart (which made me want to cry--I just can't handle it more than twice a year) or a drugstore. I thanked her, and then she explained that a drugstore might have them because they carry "old school" things. Excuse me? I grinned. While I might equate old school to "back in the day" or maybe something retro, she did not. Thinking I might not understand, she explained that a drugstore might have them because they carry old school things like shoe laces and canes and pill boxes. I replied, "OH, things that older people might need." Her response? "No, old school things." I smiled, thanked her again and walked away. Evidently, I need to brush up on my slang.

4. I have wonderful friends (which I've known) who actually read my blog (which I never assume). One, in particular, knows about my food funk, and extended an invitation for Husby and I to meet she and her hubby for dinner. And they brought their super cute baby who laughed and laughed, with an open mouth, showing her two bottom teeth.

5. Baby laughs are the cutest, sweetest laughs in the world. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

Other Duties As Assigned

My career as a college advisor has a job description like none other, and I love it. In the fall, my time is saturated with college applications. In the spring, I plan tons of events. Of course, it's right up my alley.

Do you know what's not up my alley? Wildlife, including: reptiles, rodents, amphibians, and birds. Last spring, I happened upon a snake working his way across the sidewalk. A student refused to kill it because it wasn't venomous. Whatever. Also last spring, a 9-foot python escaped from her habitat, most likely through the ceiling. I spent the better part of last summer avoiding any heavily landscaped pathway. Since I'm one of few left on campus during the summer, I knew I couldn't become lunch to Mrs. Python. No one would ever know.

(Though I did create some plans just in case I happened upon the snake.)

(I never did, but I figured I hug a tree or some other object anchored to the ground. Surely a python can't kill me if I'm wrapped around the tree, right?)

(Although the above plan was in place, I never did figure out how I'd pull a 9-foot python with me to the tree. Adrenaline, I guess.)

Well, I've convinced myself that Mrs. Python couldn't have lasted through the (relatively) cold winter we had. I mean, we had several days in the teens and 20s. She's a goner. I hope. Actually, I just had the thought that Mrs. Python lived with Mr. Python. I'm assuming some type of procreation occurred at some point. I just hope I don't come upon any baby pythons this summer!

Side note to the above rabbit trail: In said building where Mrs. Python escaped through the ceiling, there is a "dead" smell that's been around for a few months. Others think that perhaps birds and squirrels have crawled into the ceiling and died. I have money that when they finally tear down the wall, a snake skeleton will be found. I mean, seriously, squirrels smell bad for a couple of weeks after keeling off. A 9-foot python could stink it up for a few months.

Back to today...

As I was walking to the administration building on campus, I heard a group of students start screaming and squealing. They were at lunch, so I thought I might ignore them. Until they began pointing at the ground. Of course, I assume it's a snake of some size. I was wrong. It was a bat. A bat that fell out of a tree onto one of my students. Then it laid there. And attracted a crowd.

Evidently, word of the bat spread to all students but no other faculty. No amount of pleading could get any student to fetch another adult. I didn't feel as though I could leave the students with the bat since I'm sure the crowd would have provoked it into biting someone. Then I'd feel bad that a student caught rabies.

I had to comfort those who "had made a connection with the bat and couldn't leave it" with hugs and sweet words, threaten those who thought poking it with a stick could have been fun, and yell at everyone to get to class. Two out of the three worked. I mean, how often do you see a bat up close and personal?

The bat slowly began to attempt flying a few feet at a time; then he'd take a break. Finally a couple of science teachers showed up. As we discussed our plan of action, including calling pest control, the little bat flew away, over the gym and across the horizon. The science teachers theorized that he fell off of his perch while asleep; waking up in broad daylight, stunned from the fall and with 50 students screaming surely didn't help. As soon as he had his wits about him, he knew what to do.

And he did it.

And the students who made connections with the bat went to class.

Done.

Off the Vine Wine Gala and Auction, also known as the event that's consumed my life for the past two months, is done. We had a fabulous Grand Tasting, Silent Auction, dinner prepared by Chef Dean Fearing, Live Auction and Venetian Hour. There were a few little things that could have been better, but overall, it was a huge success. Hallelu.

I am thankful that life will be back to normal: leaving work by 4:30 rather than 8:00, blogging, working out, cooking for Husby, talking to friends, cleaning house, getting caught up on laundry. Husby is thankful that with less stress in my life, the breakdowns over insignificant problems will be kept at bay. I've had a few temper tantrums over the past week. Really, how difficult is it to return a duvet insert to the dryer to finish drying? Evidently, very difficult, as I stormed out of the guest room last week proclaiming, "I can't handle this." Seriously? My husband is so wonderful and patient. And very glad that this isn't normal for me. Honestly, I am, too.

Last week, I turned 30. In the busyness of life, it didn't bother me at all. (I'm not sure that it would have, anyway.) I was elbows deep in event planning on my birthday, so I mostly forgot that it was a special day. And then, last night, I got a little sad. I wasn't sad that I turned 30; I was sad that I didn't have a birthday celebration. (Okay, well, Husby and I went to Julian's--an awesome Asian restaurant--for dinner and drinks. But it lasted an hour, and then I had to go back to work for two hours.) I let my day slip by without a cake. And I let the week slip by without the birthday banner hanging proudly between the living room and kitchen. Luckily, we've been tossing around the idea of a party later in April. It for sure has to happen now!

And one funny story before signing off. Today, I wore a maxi dress to work. At my desk, I was moving around in my chair. Later, when I tried to stand up, I discovered that the dress was tangled around the wheel. No amount of maneuvering could release the hold on my dress. A moment later, a student came into the office. We exchanged pleasantries, and then, I had to let go of all pride and ask him to untangle my dress from the wheel of my chair! Luckily, it didn't rip. And luckily, this was the student who didn't know how to spell his middle name. Now, we're even.

Adventures in Showering

Remember how I hate the getting-ready process? Let me tell you, I'm proud of the fact that I can shower in less than ten minutes. I've worked on it for years, and it comes in handy when I decide that sleeping-in is more important than personal hygiene. And since Husby came with a shower clock, every morning is a little competition. With myself. (I know, it doesn't take much.)

Let me share my latest in showering--a shower that lasted 20 minutes! Gasp. (Don't worry, it's by G-rated.)

1. Wet hair. Put on shampoo. Wonder why it's not lathering. Realize it's conditioner. Rinse.

2. Put on shampoo. Put on conditioner. Without rinsing shampoo. Rinse.

3. Put on shampoo, thinking it's conditioner. Wonder why it's lathering. Rinse.

4. Put on shampoo again. Rinse.

5. Put on conditioner. Rinse.

6. Continue with other showering activities.

Seriously?! How many times does it take for me to look at the labels on the bottles? They clearly show which is which. And let me tell you, my hair did not thank me for the repeated mistakes. It was super-ultra frizzy. And on a day that is East Texas-humid, it's not a good thing.

Undecorating

Since I'm headed back to work on Monday after a two week break, I decided that today was the day to be somewhat productive. Today, Christmas came down. And it took forever. Forever. Like five hours.

I began de-ornament-ing the tree without Husby. But I had to have him for any ornaments hung over six feet. It's little things like that make me love marriage. That and the fact that he worked with me all five hours of undecorating.

I really don't mind taking ornaments off the tree and packing things in boxes. It's like a big organizing party as I try to put them in their proper boxes, turned just right so that the box will close.

(I think I failed to mention in the Christmas tree post that I'm the proud owner of 14 dozen new ornaments. Yes, Husby's wonderful mom has been collecting them for his future wife for quite a while. And they're great, glass ornaments; there are a dozen Santas in red suits and a dozen white churches among them. Just one reason why our tree looked great.)

Back to organizing...it's a challenge for me to get Christmas decorations as condensed as possible. I have three tubs for non-ornament decorations and need one more. Okay, maybe two. The tubs are so heavy every year. And this was the first year that I didn't have to pack them in the closet under the stairs.

While Husby was wrestling the huge Christmas tree box into the closet, a box of grilling tools fell behind the tree. It would have been a huge pain to pull it out, so we thought it could stay. And it could have. If I hadn't seen that it was the perfect amount of space for two other boxes. Then Husby went outside with Crickett. I decided that I could crawl over the three tubs that are just a little shorter than me, around the Christmas tree box and lower myself while balancing one foot on the brick ledge in the closet so that I could grab the tools and replace them with said boxes.

It was a plan. It worked in my mind, but it turns out I wasn't realistic in my planning. I climbed halfway over the tubs when I couldn't move. I didn't take into account my really short legs. I sort of dangled over the tubs for a while. I decided I'd wait until Husby came back inside to help me down. Only, he was gone for a long time. I had to propel myself back to starting position. And it hurt. I suffered consequences the remainder of the afternoon.

Plan B worked. I moved out all three tubs, one at a time. Pulled the Christmas tree to a horizontal position. Walked across the brick ledge. Picked up the tool kit, replaced it with the boxes. Returned the Christmas tree box to a vertical position. Moved all three tubs back into the closet. Done. Do you see how much more work was involved? I actually had to move the tubs.

I have to say that one of the hardest parts of the day--other than poor planning on executing reorganization of the storage closet and the fact that I didn't think we'd ever finish--was getting the humongo Christmas tree wrapped with cellophane and put back into that oaf of a box. Glitter was everywhere. It took some time with the broom, vacuum cleaner and Pledge to get the living room back to normal.

I've decided that when we're super rich, I want a Christmas tree closet. We'll take the ornaments off every year--I mean it is really fun decorating the tree--but the tree will be on wheels, able to roll to it's starting position.

Until then, it's just me and Husby. And that works just fine for me.

A Few Good Laughs

I'm a very visual learner and love charts and graphs. Husby has a list of websites that he enjoys. I've recently discovered the greatness of graphjam.com. They have some funny stuff, y'all. Here are a few that made me laugh, mainly because they're all so true!

(We'll get to the San Francisco pictures this weekend. I'm trying really hard to get our house in order after merging households and receiving wedding gifts. And blogger isn't exactly picture friendly.)

(It has to be done in 10 days so that I can decorate for Christmas.)

(I know that's early, but I enjoy Christmas stuff a lot. A whole lot.)

(Oh, and if you have tips on uploading pictures to blogger, pass them this way. Usually it ends with me mad at the computer. Or blogger. Or some random inanimate object.)

Enjoy the hilarity...